Ever Want Your Man to be More Masculine? Read this…
When you discover polarity, the results are magical. Truly.
Playing with masculine and feminine (consciously) creates powerful sexual attraction, chemistry, and devotion.
And yet, this superpower can also become weaponized.
I often hear from my women clients - “I wish my man were more in his masculine.”
Have you felt that way?
Other ways you may have said this / felt this:
“I wish he would take us on more dates.”
“I want him to lead more.”
“Why doesn’t he take charge?”
“Why isn’t he more decisive and powerful?”
“I crave more ravishing from him.”
“I wish he were more present with me.”
“Why is he always looking to me for approval and validation? I’m not his mom.”
Have you said one of those phrases? Or secretly felt it?
If you have, my guess is that your deeper craving is for the wild attraction and deep trust you felt when he was in his most masculine.
Where you could just let go.
Surrender fully.
Soften your body.
Receive his love.
Feel your pleasure.
Be taken and claimed.
Mmm yum.
That is the most delicious feeling!
And if you’ve experienced that, it makes sense that you would crave more of it.
So how do you encourage him to be in his masculine, so you feel more feminine, and your relationship is more polarized?!
Great question.
Here’s what does NOT work:
Telling him to be more masculine
Sending him articles or podcasts about masculinity
Comparing him to other men
Stuffing it all down and trying to “surrender”
Booking a coach for him
Talking about how he used to lead more when you first started dating
Etc.
Be honest - have you done any of those before?
I have!
And these strategies don’t work, because ultimately they are all strategies to get HIM to change.
Which is shaming for him, and disempowering for you.
What can you do instead?
If you’re a woman that wants your man to be more in his masculine, there are two areas I’d look at.
Cultivating your own feminine arts.
When you focus on your own growth and evolution as a feminine being, 1) it is far more empowering, and 2) it often inspires him as well.
Consider:
How fully are you in your body (rather than your mind)?
How connected to your sensuality, your emotions, your intuition are you?
How much pleasure can you feel through your body?
How soft and receptive to his love do you feel?
How deeply do you trust - God, the universe, and your man?
How much space for flow, relaxation, and just being is there in your day?
These are things you can practice to cultivate your own feminine energy.
While your goal is your own practice, don’t be surprised if your man starts to notice.
Like magnets, feminine energy attracts masculine energy, and visa versa. So he may start to be more masculine as a byproduct - but of course, keep the focus on your own practice.
2. Becoming aware of how you emasculate him.
If your man isn’t showing up fully in his masculine… how are you creating that?
This one is delicate and can be hard to see without a coach, as usually the way we emasculate is unconscious.
As my mentor said to me, “Women want to be ravished by the masculine in the bedroom… but then she vilifies his masculine the rest of the day.”
Yikes!
We may unconsciously emasculate men… just by trying to get them to be more like women!
When you crave being “met” and matched by him, you’re often asking him to go into his feminine energy.
You want him to be your dark ravishing masculine lover AND your best friend you can chat for hours with.
Here are a few examples:
Do you push him to talk more about feelings? That’s fine but it is asking him to be in his feminine energy.
When he does step up to lead, do you gracefully follow? Or second-guess his leadership?
When he gives advice or his opinion, do you ignore it and go your own way?
When he is in work mode, do you interrupt to connect? Or complain that he is too busy?
When he makes a clear decision, do you make little remarks about how it wasn’t the right decision?
When he organizes things for you, do you receive it gratefully or just take it as the usual?
Can you see anything here for you?
I am guilty of these for sure!
It’s so normal to be (unconsciously) emasculating.
Many of us are, either overtly or subtly.
And he has his own version of this when he tries to get her to be more like him - i.e. more logical, more “reasonable”, more self-regulated, clearer communication, etc.
If you can see yourself in any of those examples… it’s worth paying a closer look.
Ask yourself - where am I undermining his leadership, or undervaluing the masculine energy I say I want?
Hard truth - you’ll know that you’re being emasculating if he is slowly becoming less masculine over time.
So…. let’s say you relate to this.
Where do you go from here?
I love supporting powerful women to have a fulfilling relationship, where she feels so turned on, understood, trusting, and deeply in love.
Comment below and tell me how this resonates.
Xoxo,
Megan