How to Make a Relationship Last for Years

In the thousands of hours that I have spent coaching, I’ve noticed that there are 3 core things that all healthy couples I know do. This seems to be universally important to relationships.

I’ve noticed that healthy couples…

1️⃣ They fight often & respectfully, and resolve quickly. 

It’s no marker of success to “never fight”. Often “not fighting” means uncomfortable topics are being pushed under the rug. 

The healthiest couples I know bring difficult topics up and out, hash it out respectfully using their tools and practices, and resolve things quickly (in minutes, not hours or days). 

Healthy conflict is a SKILL you can learn. 

2️⃣ They make love regularly. 

They don’t wait until they feel “in the mood” and hope for spontaneity (aka where long term s ex goes to die). 

They plan time to be intimate and enjoy seducing & exploring erotically together as a core part of their relationship. 

If there are obstacles in their sex (which happens to everyone!), they work through it together and get support as needed. 

They know that making love makes love.

3️⃣ They are committed to growth. 

They know that relationships take work, and to have epic love requires deep healing, powerful tools, support, and devoted practice time. 

For life-long love to stay alive and fresh, there has to be a willingness to keep exploring, growing, and transforming - together. 

They are willing to go on couples retreats or hire a coach or visit a therapist, as needed.

So, this is a just the tip of the iceberg on what is required to sustain a healthy relationship for the long-haul but I hope you found it a useful starting place for you and your relationship.