Reclaiming the Gifts of "PMS" Week
The week right before your period (or "moon") comes gets a bad rap.
People say you're cranky, moody, crampy, irritable.
And maybe you are!
Yet there are immense gifts in this season of your menstrual / moon cycle.
I like to think about our cycles as seasons, with gifts and wisdom in each season.
My book "Eros: The Journey Home" goes much deeper into this but as a quick summary, this is how I see the moon cycle:
Menstruation is winter - a time to cocoon, rest, reflect, receive
Follicular phase (week after bleeding) is spring - full of new ideas, budding energies, and socializing
Ovulation is summer - high energy, social and sexual peak, bright and bold feeling
Luteal (or "PMS" week) is autumn
So let's talk about autumn...
In season terms, autumn is a cozy time as the leaves fall, the air becomes crisp and sharp, rain or snow starts falling, people spend more time indoors, and pace of life slows down.
These exact same themes can apply to your luteal phase, your inner autumn.
1) The leaves fall.... What are you now ready to let go? What is ready to shed?
During the luteal phase, anything that isn't quite aligned will start to feel irritating. That's real wisdom! Your irritation is showing you things that may be ready to shed.
For example:
Your overfull closet annoys you - is it time to clean it out?
Your boss asking you to work late (again) - is it time to say "no"?
Your busy calendar feels overwhelming - is it time to cut out lower priority activities?
2) The air is crisp and sharp... your clarity and intuition is heightened at this phase.
What may have felt slightly off (ex: a sexist joke at the dinner table), but you rolled with it during ovulation, now feels jarring and unacceptable.
In ovulation and follicular phase, we can breeze past red flags and personal limits, buoyed by a sense of confidence and exuberance.
Yet, when it comes time for our inner autumn? Those areas feel loud - and for good reason.
E.g. A new handsome man you're dating mentions he had a gambling problem. "No problem!" Ovulation You might think, as you look at him starry eyed.
Meanwhile, Luteal You will pause, crinkle her brow, and say, "Mm I need to know more.".
Anything that is feeling off or crunchy this week? Pay attention.
3) Rain or snow starts falling... your emotions flow more strongly during this time.
One of the most underrated gifts of the luteal phase is powerful access to your emotions - particularly your grief and your rage.
(I write extensively about the wisdom of our emotions in my book, but here's a quick snapshot)
Grief is like a rainstorm - it can flow in at the most seemingly inconvenient times, yet the earth needs this rain to wash away excess and nurture new life. Your grief is the same - it honors what was, and makes space for what will be, giving you soul level hydration. Grief is the shadow side of love.
Meanwhile, your rage is like lightning, a bolt of clarity in a dark sky, with the power to transform circumstances (ex: sand into glass). Rage shows you in stark contrast what does NOT feel good, and invites you to take decisive action towards what would feel good. Rage is the shadow side of power.
Many of us grew up repressing these "darker" emotions and treating them like a "problem to solve". They are not. Your grief and rage are a gift - to you, to your relationships, and to the world.
4) People spend time indoors... your social appetite decreases this week.
While the first two weeks of your cycle (follicular and ovulation) are about expansive, external, extroverted energy... the second two weeks are about inward, reflective, introverted energy.
This week invites you to listen more deeply to yourself - your inner voice, your feelings, your intuition, your emotions.
If you notice you're feeling cranky at a party, irritated by your partner, or annoyed with your kids... it could be your body's way of asking for space, for alone time.
5) The pace of life slows down.... this phase invites you to soften, rest, slowwww.
When you can deeply slow down during your luteal phase, you'll be rewarded by an increased sensitivity and sensuality.
Food might taste more pleasurable, touch might melt you more, and a hot bath feels extra delicious.
But if you try to keep busy, be in "perma-ovulation" high energy... crankiness will ensue. It's your body's way of saying, no, no, no.
Ways to move at the pace of your body - walking slowly, taking things off your calendar, saying "no" to that extra project, kissing your partner more softly and slowly, etc.
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With these 4 elements in mind, you will access amazing gifts of the luteal / autumn phase.
Gifts of:
- Deep intuition
- Clarity and sharp wisdom
- Sensitivity and sensuality
- Inner guidance and awareness
These are gifts just waiting to be offered to you - if you're willing to listen to your body's wisdom and move at Her pace.
Comment below and let me know - do you track your moon cycle? What have you learned from doing so?
Xoxo,
Megan