The Pressure to Commit
A HUGE difference between men & women when it comes to (heterosexual) dating…
Men tend to want relationships to unfold naturally. They have plenty of time to “see where it goes”.
Women are completely different.
If she wants to have children, she’s on a biological timeline.
As a result, she will feel a certain pressure (consciously or unconsciously) to figure out “where this is going”.
(Note: These are vast gender generalizations that won’t apply to everyone. Take what you like, leave the rest).
Author Allison Armstrong says that women have a 3 month mark - if she’s been casually dating him for 3 months she will start to wonder, “Where is this going? A relationship?”.
In other words, it’s time for the DTR (define the relationship) talk.
Then, after 9 months together, the woman will start to wonder - is this leading to marriage?
To bigger commitment? To kids?
If relationship doesn’t seem to be moving in that direction, she will start to feel pressure (conscious or unconscious) to “figure things out” or nail it down.
Can you relate?
I see this A LOT with my clients.
The woman fighting with this vague urgency or restless discontent that her man doesn’t seem to have.
Even if she loves him and is happy together.
And at this spot, she has two choices:
Carry on, pretending she doesn’t feel this pressure, and just wait for him to commit to her (while usually pulling away from him emotionally or sexually)
Clarify where the relationship is going and get support if you need help getting on the same page.
Have you noticed this? What was it like for you? Let me know below in the comments.
Xoxo,
Megan
P.S. If you can relate to this and want support, I invite you to book a free 30 minute Discovery Call with me.
We’ll explore what you want, where you feel stuck, and what support you need. Click HERE to book yours.